So Civ V is out and omigosh the world leaders now speak in their native languages.

(Insert girlish squeal here.)

That was all sarcasm ( I point it out because in print you can almost never tell).  I mean what a dumb selling point, yet it is one that the games makers and other reviewers have touted repeatedly.  Now when you play Civ V you won't be able to understand nine tenths of all foreign interactions.  Sure there are subtitles, but I don't want to read.  Print is dead.... er, I mean... print in games is dead.  Yeah.  Print is still totally applicable in other formats.  Like blogs.

The aforementioned makers of the game said that this feature would make the game much more immersive.  I disagree.  If anything it kicks me out of the game.  When I attack Rome the last thing I want to hear is Caesar jibbering at me in Latin.  When Bismark is negotiating a trade with me I don't want him to sound like he's farting out his mouth.  Give me dialogue I can understand.  Give them accents if you want.  Don't give me subtitles.

 "Pardon his french-"

"No.  I will NOT pardon his french!"

But above all, if you insist on giving me language I can't understand don't make it sound like it's such a cool neat thing.  It's a backdrop, it's atmosphere.  If you highlight it you ruin it.

There are plenty of worthwhile things to emphasize in this game other than language.  The switch from squares to hexagons.  The improved tactics regarding geography.  The elimination of troop stacking.

And to be fair all those were spotlighted, and they do sound like interesting features.  But the fact that Montezuma has finally found his original voice is not one of them.

Team Tifa

I'm Team Tifa.  It has taken me a long time to come to this decsision.  I used to be Team Aeris big time but well, she's dead.

And as cool as necrophilia is, it's a one way street.  Cloud and Tifa deserve better than that.

And for that matter Aeris deserves better.  But hey she's got Zack.  They can be dead together.  

Or maybe it's more like this, I'm not to sure what the afterlife is like.

My name is Link and these are the longest three days of my life

So a friend of mine recently downloaded Majora's Mask on his Wii. After playing through the first half hour or so I couldn't help but feel that there was something familiar about this game. And it wasn't just the FF VII rip off. (Moon coming to crash into the world aka Meteor coming to crash into the planet) It was something else. The pressure of the time constant was really getting to me. Three days to save the world just didn't seem like enough time. Not to mention the fact that one day seemed to take about ten minutes. I felt like, like...
Jack Bauer.

I even kind of looked like him.You know, cuz they're both... blond.

As I ran around the town doing inane mini quests in order to save the world I kept yelling out "We're running out of time!"
What's that Jimmy you want to play hide and seek before you give me access to your secret tower in which an astronomer/pedophile hangs out. Don't you see that huge moon with the creepy smile on it's face about to crash into the town and kill us all.
Your lucky I am a Deku scrub and can only blow bubbles at you. If I had my sword I'd cut you up and play hide and go seek with the pieces. I'm the warrior of time you little twerp! And I'm your only hope, so stop wasting my time and let me into your tower.

One Stupidest Moments from MGS2

When the "La Li Lu Le Lo" are first mentioned. I was half expecting Maria von Trap to pop out of a corner and continue singing "Ti, a drink with jam and bread." Like rats fleeing a ship this was but one of many signs that MGS2 was heading towards disaster.

(This image brought to you by a google image search.)